DIARY OF DUKE
Bzzzzz
Bzzzzz
firm hushed intonation
Not now Sarah Im in class
Moms dead were all going to Alex Honnold memorial hospital
Ok … well … i’m in the middle of class
Really duke …
hangs up
phone off
overheard conversation
crooked necks are straightened
poor attempts at hidden glances
room still stiff and quiet
the lecture proceeds
muffled voice in agitation
coffin
blonde wood
matte sheen
smudged chrome
all on black cloth
the only color in her face
a single rose
bright
vibrant
reflected by the summer sun
the summer sky blue _ and clean
cotton clouds _ its frame
the oaks active as the birds _ and the breeze
melodious tunes tweet mornings end
as the service starts
so start the whispers
Sarah why doesn’t mother have makeup on
You know she didn’t believe in makeup
Yes but she’s dead
And _ what are you trying to say ?
She looks like a rawhide
What the fuck Duke …
I’m just saying if you look at her skin it’s translucent _ and shes as hard as a rock
What ! Are you feeling her ?
I was interested
Dead bodies go through rigamortis
I wanted to see what that felt like
She’s as hard as a rock
Holy fuck Duke
( oh my fuhkin gohhh )
clenched teeth
pursed lips
amygdala
he turns to face amy
Amy
him
apathetic tone
firm calm expression
robotic whispered tone
What is it ?
Amy … I think we need to break up
What are you saying ?
fast filled lungs
raised eyebrows
pushed out chin
lips squared
framing front teeth
head cocked but
snaps back
reaction
obviously subtle
Duke _ We’re at your moms funeral
heavy breath
long
full
lungs
Astonished
Well thats just it amy
I’m grieving pretty hard _ and I don’t think this is going to work out
I understand you’re grieving
Thats why i’m here
I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to help you through this
Amy
I’m grieving
breath in
short and snappy
I don’t think this is going to work out
So you need some time apart to settle down
I can do that
Amy
…
This is definitely not going to work out
Crescendo
Oh my god duke
p
I cant believe your pulling this at your moms funeral
m
Duke
f
Would you shut up ?
ppp
Shut up ???
You’re trying to break up with me at your moms funeral
fff
whiney words
whispered shouts
double bar line
silence
she
a sad short shocked survey of the crowd
with dropped jaw
7 seconds
Amy
…
What ?
bird like whine
I’m not trying to break up with you
What do you mean Duke?
What are you even saying right now ?
I am Breaking up with you
her
shoots down the crowd of people
from the first pew to the last
him
turns to sister
Well _ The storm has passed
Uuugh You’re impossible
Do you get it sis ?
What ?
The storm has passed
…
You know _ Because she stormed out of here
he lets out
one chuck
of a chuckle
she lets out
1/10th
of a breathy sob
45 minutes
an eternity in hell
afterwards
fat aunt gladys sucks the marrow
from her now plate of chicken bones
geriatric swarms of seagulls _
they all squawk the same thing anyways
forced intensified laughter echoes from the kitchen
like that one obnoxious lady at the bottom of the movie theatre
tokens to remember
or
party favors
brandy eggnog
it was her favorite drink
in the middle of august
god damned Josh Groban album
record winning
longest shit
in the upstairs guest bathroom
ever
riiing
riiing
Hey
What happened at the funeral today ?
It’s ridiculous right ?
You’re ridiculous duke
You did that at your moms funeral
Sam your overreacting
Am I ?
You embarrassed her in front of the whole congregation
Well it had to be done
and she embarrassed herself
At the funeral ?
How would you have had her act Duke ?
I just thought it was a good excuse
to break up with her
Really
Why couldn’t you have just been a man
and dealt with it properly
Is there really a proper way to break up with someone ?
Look lets just get over this
We don’t have to hide our relationship
After that we do
What do you mean ?
What do you mean, What do you mean ?
I’m best friends with your sister Duke
I can’t just start going out with you after you
break up with your girlfriend at your moms funeral
in front of your entire family
You were the one who told me to drop the girl anyways
Well I didn’t know you were going to be that irresponsible ?
Can you come talk to me i’m in the guest bathroom ?
Why don’t you come out here ?
You’re not even going to make yourself present at the afterparty ?
I don’t want to be out there
I don’t like any of those people
Do you mean your family ?
I don’t even know them
They’re your family duke
and family is family
Maybe _ We don’t have anything in common anyways
Whatever Dick
Hangs up
leaves the fiesta
home at last
riiing
riiing
Hello
outdone
overwhelmed
exhausted
Hey buddy
David heyyyy
Its always nice to hear your voice
Sorry sweetheart your not my type
Alright asshole
so whats up with you
I haven’t seen you in forever
I know man you been a fucking hermit crab for the past century
Dude you know I was busy man
Yeah whatever
Anyways me and the guys are going to play some pool at Phelps’s
You should come
Im not sure man _ when did you want to go ?
Well we’re going Tuesday night
ok well I have to finish a paper before then
but ill definitely make an effort to get out there
Sweet man if I don’t see you there you’ll lose your Status
Oh No ! My Status
Sarcastic
humorous
friendly banter
calmed nerves
much needed relief
Alright man well have a good night
You too David
Night falls
so falls the pen
thought filled etchings
of the conditioned soul
thoughts bleeding from the hand
through the pen
to the paper
like a leech draws poison from the blood
–
muffled booms and chimes
echo from the pool hall
an aggressive misrepresentation of masculinity
praising of fickle ideals
seeping into the already altered minds
those sipping on the byproduct of rot
judging that which does not define them
or
that which they refuse to acknowledge
Heyyy Duke
Whats up David
Dude Im feeling pretty hot right now
I’m on a mean streak
I just creamed Sam at the last game
Sam’s here ?
Yeah and she was asking about you
that feeling of
should I be happy or worried
Oh ok
Duuuuke
heyyy
Shout from yonder
sprint to the finish
half a beer on the floor
glass half empty
you can fill it up again anyways
Oh hey Sam
Whats wrong duke ?
You don’t look that happy to see me
Whispers in ear
Im sorry for what I said the other day
I just don’t want Sarah to find out just yet
About what ?
shoots
About what we’re going to get into tonight
corner pocket shot
fermented rot
score
solid
sloshed
I don’t know how I feel about this David
Dude just roll with it
You have to promise not to tell Sarah
I got you bro _ Now get you some
and don’t look so glum
she approaches
Really Duke
And you Sam
What the fuck
Duke oh my god
I cant believe I slept over last night _ Did we ? _ You know ?
Really Sam
I don’t feel like playing games right now
No I don’t remember anything at all
You took advantage of my best friend when she was drunk ?
You’re a heartless pig
Oh my god I cant believe this is happening to me
Can both of you just get out of my room
So is that how you see me Duke
NO
you just wanted to fuck
and now your done with me
just get out
I don’t feel like putting up with either of you
Duke you really are a heartless pig
Get the fuck OOOOUT
Get the fuck out
Get the fuck out
Get out Get out
Door Slammed Shut
the letter of the day is F
lets count how many F’s there are
a one a two a three
ah ah ah
the number of the day is three
riiing
riiing
riiing
Whats up David
Dude what the fuck is wrong with you
what do you mean…
oh with the whole Sam thing
yeah are you fucking crazy
you were the one pushing her on my yesterday
maybe you should ask yourself the same thing
yeah but you brought her back to your place
sooo
dude you fucked your sisters best friend at your house
I figured if Sam is so ready to jump into bed with me
she wouldn’t have a problem with my sister knowing
anyways I cant really go to her parents house
Well shit dude
You’re fucked now
Well than why the fuck do you need to remind me if i’m so fucked ???
hangs up
God Dammit
cascades of books fall to the ground
bed normally made
book bag strewn across the floor
clothes overturned
hampering of mobility
the place of solitude
now
a battleground of feelings
the remnants of
dead emotions strewn across the ground
victories
now plastic carcasses
cherished moments
now mangled frames
fragments of frustration
angsty anticipation without destination
Thanks Jimmy your a lifesaver
Bro I thought you quit this shit
Yeah I did but I just wanted to take off the edge
Well this shit’ll do it
this is probably the best shit I’ve ever had
look at the crystals on this man
its like little shard of glass
yeah its good
dude your gonna be so high
I uh _ have some wax too _ if you want
well
this is good enough man
Im not really looking for much
nah I got u brah
its on me
come see
tortured timeframe
as the torch is lit
feelings of obligation
as the glass glows red
the booger is blotted
disseminated smoke
seeps through the
winding labyrinth
as lungs suck the
waxy waste through
the bubbling
erlenmeyer
coughing bellows
through the halls
out the door
and into the streets
as
the door cracks
feet rumble through that hall
and into the smoke filled living room
Put your hands above your head and get on the ground
Fuck Jimmy
What the fuck
cackling cuffs coarsely caressing carpals
cramped car crudely cruising
cage clinks closed
who to call
who to call
who to call
riiing
riiing
riiing
C’mon
speaker clicks
Hello this is Sarah
Who’s number is this ?
Hey Sarah this is Duke
What do you want Duke ?
Sarah _ I need you to bail me out
What ? your in jail ?
Yes _ but its not my fault
Then why are you in jail ?
Sarah I don’t have time for this
I need you to bail me out
C’mon Duke
I’m in class right now
God Sarah please I don’t want to be in here any longer than I have to
Its not my fault
I didn’t get myself put in jail
I told you already its not my fault
Maybe if you told me what happened
I could help you
Oh God …
I don’t have time for this
ill tell you about it in the car
Well I guess I don’t have a reason to come get you
For fucks sake alright
I was at Jimmy’s and they came and arrested both of us
and i’m in here because of his ass
What the fuck
I thought you stopped hanging around that idiot
I did
Then what the fuck were you over there for
You don’t even like that guy
This is not really the place to talk about that Sarah
Ill talk to you in the car
No _ I want to know how its not your fault when you decided it was a good idea to go
to jimmy’s
Look the one time I decide to go to Jimmy’s
this has to happen
phone bleeps out
NoNoNoNoNo
times up
I don’t even know if she’s coming to get me
I can’t stay here another night
cell block cold
eerie echoes
worrisome wait
finally home
sister sleeps
the door creeps
into the night
morning follows
September
it was a glorious fall
the crimson leaves
speckles
along the pavement
of the abandoned school steps
the tall tan grass waves goodbye
to the summer
covering the tall tan figure from view
the insects have their harvest
before the blistering cold comes
soon to be bones for wild dogs
never to be found
The Spiritual Vagabond 